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 Name:
Danielle Schaaf
Position: Columnist-Haute Flash Contessa
Email: schaafpr@kingwoodcable.net
Biography:
Danielle Schaaf is the author of Don't Chew Jesus! A Collection of Memorable Nun Stories, and lives in Kingwood. Actually, she lives in her car and shuttles around the community, chatting away to the family mutt riding shotgun. Or to herself, depending on whoever answers first.
She's been married longer than dirt to center-of-her-world, Mark, and is a doting mother to twin sons and a daughter. Despite ignoring her pleas for help around the house, all of them love her dearly. She's adored by her dog, Bongo; tolerated by Tiger, the old-man cat; and feared by the kitties, Sugar and Tornado. All four pets have bladder issues. Schaaf has anger issues.
When not driving kids around or running errands, Schaaf
attends St. Martha Catholic Church in Kingwood, reads and
sleeps. Oh, yes, and she writes.
Haute Flash Contessa is a column showcasing the mental meanderings of Schaaf's alter-ego, a mid-life mom cruising through suburbia in a minivan. She's married to The Big Guy and servant to, er, mother of three. Filling the van are twin boys Pinot and Grigio, named in honor of Contessa's favorite Italians and because the boys, like their counterparts, are recognized by their pale yellow complexions and fragrant bouquets. They're joined by younger sister Cat, the later-in-life addition to the household. Upon learning of her impending arrival, The Big Guy cried out, "I thought you said you were getting a cat!"
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