I have never been a fan of the Kardashian-Jenners or understood why so many people are obsessed with them and all they touch and wear. The most successful of all is Kylie Jenner, who at 21 years of age has been named the youngest self-made billionaire in the U.S. ever. She is no longer just the kid sister on a TV reality show; she is a brand. She has her own line of cosmetics, clothing, endorsements for dozens of major retailers, and an online audience of more than 150 million followers. Her dog Norman’s birthday party had over 100,000 views. I am sure it is only a matter of time until he has his own line of designer doggie outfits, gourmet dog treats, and grooming products.
One of Kylie’s most profitable business ventures has been her cosmetics line, which is clearly geared to young women who aspire to all things “Kylie.”
These facts have convinced me that there is but one thing to do – start my own lifestyle brand. After all, there are more than 40 million female baby boomers out there right now with no clear role model, no one to whom they can look for guidance in so many areas of their life.
Don’t tell me it is Jane Seymour with her perfectly toned arms and nauseating, middle-of-the-night commercials for “Crepe Erase,” when thanks to hot flashes we are awake power shopping on QVC or watching reruns of “I Love Lucy.” Jane’s just not normal.
As a “boomer” woman, I am quite familiar with cosmetics. I have a drawer full of half-used rejects which represent a significant financial investment. How many anti-wrinkle creams do you own that let you down? Moisturizers that didn’t? Toners that don’t tone? Lipsticks that looked better on the display than on your lips? Anti-smudge mascara that still gave you raccoon eyes? The list goes on. My cosmetics line will end that waste. All my cosmetics will be 100 percent edible, gluten and dairy free. If they don’t live up to your expectations, just eat them.
I’ve been doing some home research for the line and so far my most successful products have been the pinot grigio toner, my dark chocolate facial mask and Nutella-based brow wax. The upside to my product research is that on those not-so-productive days, I’ve got lunch. Judging by my snug pants, I may have overdone the research just a bit.
Stand by for my product launch. Forget Dillard’s, Macy’s and Ulta, look for me in the grocery aisle.