I don’t enjoy going to the grocery store on the weekends. Not exactly sure why. Maybe it is because the parking lot is just a tad crazier than the other days of the week. Or perhaps the grocery store aisles are filled with just a few more people that straddle the entire aisle with body, basket and assorted children. When the traditional “’scuse me” is not acknowledged, the grocery store can turn into one of those “Tough Mudder” obstacle courses for weekend warriors. Maybe all we need is for store personnel to add a few rope ladders and we are in business.

Yeah, I have run into shoppers stopped and zoned out for what felt like five minutes, trying to make an important decision. For instance, Blue Bell vanilla or chocolate. While I totally agree the choice IS difficult, I wanna nudge the stranger and say, “Honey, just get both. You can purchase a maximum of two for Pete’s sake. Your family will think you are a rock star.”

On the weekends, I prefer to send the hubster … with a shopping list. That is if I can sweet talk him into going for me. When that doesn’t work, we both sound like a couple of whiny kids trying to get our way with lively banter like: “It's your turn to go.”

“I'll flip you for it.”

“You call it – heads or tails?”

“How about high card gets to stay home?”

We’ve even got a deck of playing cards parked right next to the car keys for such occasions.

But sometimes all the motivation Rick needs is to stare with glazed eyeballs into the open refrigerator which echoes back …. you are obviously having a plate of bread and butter pickles tonight with a Dijon mustard dipping sauce. Yep, condiments are what we could be having for dinner if you don’t step right on up to home plate and volunteer for grocery duty.

This past weekend Rick left with my grocery list of the usual suspects. But after heading out the back door, I stopped him before the truck went into reverse.

“Honey, why don’t you also come back with a few snacks for yourself,” I said.

I don’t know if the hubster realizes it or not, but he always has that option. For me, it can be a daunting task to figure out a new snack item the hubster might like without lots of input. My guy likes his snacks in so many ways: salty, sweet and also spicy. I got that part down. But hey, have you shopped lately? Have you seen how many items line the shelves? Oreo cookies now come in lots of different ways. When did that happen and why? And don’t get me started on the chip aisle. Do I really take a chance on those lentil chips with jalapeno flavoring?

It was at least an hour later, probably longer, that Rick finally pulled into the driveway with his culinary cache. From the wide grin across his face, he musta had fun shopping. I was smiling also. While he was gone, I managed to make the bed, wash and fold two loads of laundry and bake a cake … from scratch!

I was impressed all my items were accounted for AND that a large wheelbarrow wasn’t required for all of Rick’s snack selections. To my surprise, most of the items amounted to things that fit easily into multiple candy bowls and stuff I never purchase. We now have Jolly Rancher hard candy, Werther’s Original caramels and Ghirardelli dark chocolate minis. My eyebrows raised slightly when I spied his chocolate selection! Yum!

Oh, and there was a package of exotic Oreo Thins with a mint crème center. The hubster indicated these were to share with our little grandson, Jake. The last item out of the shopping bag was a large bag of Cheetos puffs. Geez, I had no clue Chester Cheetah still graced the package. I normally speed skate right by the bright orange bags in the store.

Grocery shopping … definitely not my favorite thing to do on the weekend. Thankfully, I married a dude that turns the chore into an adventure!

Dixie Frantz is a Kingwood resident and newspaper columnist for the past 19 years. Email comments to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You can also visit Dixie’s blog at lifesloosethreads.com   

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