It doesn’t seem like it has been all that long since our children were little bitty tykes rappelling over crib rails and chattering baby babble. So is it any wonder listening to our grandson chatter brought me back … way back from the Viking days of yore! Geez, wish I could recall all the funny ways our kids twisted and turned words when they were just starting to talk. Social media, where were you over 30 years ago? 
Aw … but there is one little exception. I vividly remember what our oldest used to call her favorite toddler beverage. Three guesses what the phrase “apple dooble” stands for. Not too difficult to figure that one out. Apple juice was Katie’s most favorite drink way back when there were very few options. As a 2-year-old, she said it often and with great passion. 
Fast forward many years and now we have Facebook, YouTube and cell phones all recording every waking childhood moment for our viewing and listening pleasure. I love it! There is nothin’ cuter than little kids and puppies on the Internet. Enter our little Jake and over a million other little ones onto the scene.
One of Jake’s first words wasn’t mama or dada. Nope. It was “La-La,” which means Elmo. The only reason I know that for certain is the little guy loves our special needs daughter’s Chicken Dance Elmo. Elmo stands all yellow and chicken-fied on a low shelf in Mimi’s room. Jake would point and say “La-La.” Then of course I would push the button on La-La’s foot and we all flap our wings. No one can say I’m not a quick learner to have figured that one out! 
And then there is Jake’s love of “no-nuts.” On Saturday morning sometimes Jake and the parents head on over to the no-nuts shop, or rather, Shipley’s Donuts. Jake loves his no-nuts frosted and with sprinkles. I like mine chocolate-covered if you please.
“They keep the just-made glazed ones in the back,” Chad, Jake’s dad, said eyes glazing over.  
Our grown-up Katie posted on Facebook recently a couple of Jake’s first three-word sentences. 
My favorite Jake-ism is “cheese is cold.” Now just ponder what the word “cold” means to a child under the age of 2. I know … it seems to me to be quite a heavy concept for a little person. I could be totally wrong but I just love to hear him say it! 
And then there is “Charlotte did it,” which conjures up all sorts of interesting images. Did Jake blame his friend for knocking down his block tower? Or perhaps she reached over and grabbed a chunk of banana off his plate during snack time. The lad loves, like those cute little cartoon Minions, his bananas. These are very real possibilities. But I learned … nope … that wasn’t it at all. 
“Not so long ago we were given an incident report at daycare that Charlotte bit him on the arm,” Katie said.
I was certainly glad they caught the little tot red-handed. Little kids shouldn’t bite their classmates. But I wondered if the love bite would become a nasty habit. Charlotte could get herself expelled, or Jake could bite her back, and then where would we be? I didn’t like the thought of my Jake crying or being reduced to using his newly erupted choppers for evil. 
Actually, if the truth be told, Jake has been blaming Charlotte for a couple of months even before he could say the words. Just mention Charlotte and Jake scrunches up his face and pinches his left forearm a little with his right hand. Now he can actually blame the girl with his words. I venture to say perhaps the first bite was an accident but well remembered by Jake. Charlotte is probably a little angel … perhaps her halo is just a tad crooked.
I’d love to be a butterfly on the wall in 30 years when our current social media is recalled… like the Vikings … ancient history. Hopefully, Charlotte will have gotten her act together by then. 

Dixie Frantz is a Kingwood resident and newspaper columnist for the past 20 years. Email comments to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. You can also visit Dixie’s blog at lifesloosethreads.com

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